Season 1, Ep 10: How to Discover and FLEX Your Authenticity at Work
Women receive mixed messages to be authentic but also to conform, fall in line, fit in, especially at work. It’s a challenging tightrope to walk but we have solutions. In this episode, learn how to discover your own authenticity, and then how to FLEX so that you can contribute at work in a way that reflects who you are.
Subscribe! Time-stamped show notes are below.
Intro
2:10 Women are told to be authentic but also to conform
2:29 We need to stop trying to change women
3:00 Mixed signals start at birth
5:05 Girls are trained to smile, be pleasant, play well with others
6:00 Sometimes we don’t know who we are
Episode Breakdown
6:19 In today’s episode we will discuss:
What is authenticity and what are tips for you to best discover who you are
Why is authenticity at work critical
How can you navigate between being authentic and the pressure to conform or fit in
6:40 Tracy J. Edmonds author of Wild Hair
Tips to Discover Your Authenticity
9:20 Definitions of authentic, Webster's definition
10:35 Uncover authenticity by asking
who or what you trust
what you cherish
what brings meaning and purpose to your life
what gives you peace
Co-Host Answers:
12:45 (Cathy), 16:12 (Deborah) Who or what you trust
18:22 (Deborah), 19:50 (Cathy) What do you cherish
22:20 (Cathy), 24:40 (Deborah) What brings meaning and purpose to your life
28:25 (Deborah), 29:28 (Cathy) What gives you peace
30:46 (Cathy), 32:05 (Deborah) 3 characteristics or values
35:05 Strengths Finder by Tom Rath
35:30 Women have to prove themselves over and over again, How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women
Why Authenticity Matters at Work
36:36 Inauthenticity akes you feel uncomfortable
36:58 Story of friend rated poorly because she was being authentic
38:15 ⅓ employees feel pressure to conform, How to Be More Authentic at Work by Dr. Patricia Hewlin
38:30 Examples are:
-parents downplay importance of parenting
-employees won’t wear clothing reflecting their religion
-people stay silent on social justice issues
-people don’t speak up about inequity or workplace microaggressions
38:58 We learn when to smile, frown, nod, How to Be More Authentic at Work by Dr. Patricia Hewlin
39:27 Being authentic improves marketing skills
How to Express Authenticity - Flexing
40:20 What is flexing
40:38 Tips for those early in career
40:52 Tips for interviews
41:40 Using authenticity to nudge culture in the right direction
42:01 Examples:
-Don’t like sports
-Social justice issue matters to you
-Challenges with parenting
42:28 Tip for allies
42:45 Flex through vulnerability
42:50 What is vulnerability, Books by Dr. Brene Brown
43:30 Dr. Brene Brown 2010 Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability
43:44 Vulnerability births innovation, creativity, change, Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change by Dr. Brene Brown
44:35 Importance of:
-Sharing new ideas at work
-Disagreeing with someone at work
-Admitting that you made a mistake
46:36 Risks of flexing authenticity
47:40 Leaders should model authenticity
48:20 Parity in Play
48:34 Afghan women and girls, CSIS article
48:54 Girls barred from secondary school, BBC article
49:10 Unconscious bias in the US, How to Understand Unconscious Bias So We Can See Women
Unconscious Bias: Hidden Forces Undermining Women at Work
Where You Can Find Us
Website: www.par-ity.com
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn
Co-Hosts: Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick
Contributor: Dr. Nithila Peter of eiLeads
Email CathyAndDeborah@par-ity.com with questions or comments